Transcript generatedusing AI transcription, errors may occur. Contact Mikki for clarification

00:14
Hey everyone, Mikki here. You're listening to another mini-mikkipedia on Monday. And today I want to talk about mindset, particularly this time of year, because as you know, it's ramping up to be a lot of social occasions. People are tying up loose ends as we're heading into 2024. Everyone wants to see everybody. And we end up, or we can end up,

00:43
quite out of routine. And part of the problem with this is because we are so, we can be really fixed into a routine and think that's the thing that really keeps us in check. Once that is lost, we can almost throw the baby out with the bath water with regards to diet and exercise routines as well. You know, pick up in 2024, it won't be that bad. And we start letting habits slide.

01:09
And so I thought it would be a good opportunity to chat a little bit about some of the concepts around mindset, which can be really helpful just to be aware of, I guess. This isn't likely to be anything new, but it might be framing it in a way that you haven't really thought about it before. So the first thing I want to talk a little bit about is the principle of Pareto or the Pareto principle.

01:35
And if you're not familiar with the Pareto principle, it is this pattern that you sort of see over and again in many contexts, and you probably are familiar with it actually. People talk about 80-20, but in fact, what this refers to is more about 80% of the outcome comes from 20% of the cause or the input. You'll hear it referred to as the 80-20 rule.

02:04
but it's a little bit different from the 80-20 rule that we discuss in diet, where you're fine for 80% of the time, the rest of the time you're sort of off the rails. And in diet and exercise, we think about the food that we eat and the exercise that we do as being the most important thing. And of course it is, because those are the things that lead you to the physique or the body composition that you're after. However, if you don't spend time

02:32
thinking about your mindset from the get-go, this is when it can unravel you, and particularly this time of year. And in fact, your mindset is probably the most important thing, because that will determine what you do next. Though it might seem minor, it really isn't. And if you don't have this set up from the get-go, and you don't start working on building a resilient mindset from the start,

03:02
centers around how you view yourself as being successful, what your goals are and what you want to achieve, then when push comes to shove during times where you really need it, it's not going to be there. And I know at the start of any sort of diet, it doesn't feel like you need that kind of thing because your motivation is super high. And that can absolutely drive your actions and behaviors first and foremost.

03:31
Motivation doesn't last forever. Mindset is the thing that can be built and can last. And when you get that right, the actual physical change feels so much easier and reaching your goals becomes so much easier as well. And the thing is it has to be a conscious decision to focus on mindset because our default brain and patterns of sort of thinking don't really

04:00
help in this context. Our brain's job is to predict what's going to happen next and to try and keep us safe. That is evolution. It's the way that we've been able to be protected from predators or things that may kill us back in sort of prehistoric times because our brain is always constantly trying to predict what is going to happen next and keep us safe. Even though

04:27
Again, this is not in your conscious mind. This is going on in the background in your subconscious mind. Even if we aren't satisfied where we are now physically, it's actually a really safe place for us to be because it's the known and familiar. So when we try to adopt change and we try to do something different, changing our habits and behaviors that is outside our comfort zone, that

04:54
uncomfortable feeling can also be registered by the brain as feeling unsafe. Regardless of the fact that it isn't a physical danger, it is an emotional unknown, and your brain wants to protect you from that. Having a mindset of change, putting things into place to help build your resilient mindset allows you to break free from that comfort zone, and this is where we see real success with fat loss. Because you are opening yourself up to try.

05:23
something new and something different. Remember that what got you to the place you're at now is are not the skills and behaviors that you need to get you to where you want to be. Or they might be, but they obviously need some tweaking if you are not there yet or you're really struggling with fat loss. You know, I see it quite a bit. A lot of people start one of my plans then swiftly ask if they can continue to eat X, Y, Z for breakfast, lunch or dinner.

05:52
because they're used to it and they love it and they're in the routine. Now, it's not that there may be anything inherently wrong with the food or drink that they're asking about or that they want, but it does send signals to me that they're resisting change somewhat, even if they've invested in the program and are motivated by it. They still want to keep things the same, keep it in that sort of safe, comfortable zone. So...

06:17
I challenge them on this and ask them to explore where they don't wanna change. And also try to get them to do something differently as that can build confidence when you are adopting change. You know, it's like building reps. If you start with changing something and you realize it wasn't as hard a change as what you anticipated, it didn't hurt quite so much or anything around that, then it is just gonna build you confidence.

06:44
for the next thing that you change, and then the next thing that you change. Of course, I've talked a lot about behavior change and habit change, particularly in my 100 Fat Loss Tips episode and ebook, and this is the power of making these changes. You sort of prove to yourself that you can do things differently. Whereas if you are adopting a program, yet resisting some of the principles or trying to keep things as they are in your life,

07:14
that might not necessarily be the best path or the best course of action, particularly not in the first instance as you are trying to make these types of changes. Because your brain works really hard to get you back to status quo and to the comfortable. And like I said, it might not seem it at first as motivation may be high, but over time, working on your mindset, stuff from the get-go, helps when things don't go according to plan.

07:43
because a lot of the default brain pattern of you slipping back into your behaviors is happening at that subconscious level, which you're not even aware of. And notice what happens and notice how you feel when you are on the path of making change, but you're not quite there yet. And you can start to notice resistance. Like, I don't wanna do that with things like tracking, measuring, food prep, going to the gym, et cetera, and...

08:12
Things can feel really hard, even though it is what you want. The habits and behaviors that result in fat loss and physique transformation. But when your default brain pattern starts kicking in, you might not even be aware of it, but you'll notice a resistance to doing the things you know work. If you've got a practice in place of thinking about your mindset, of working on your mindset, of having these sort of positive sort of mantras, or

08:40
things that you write down or podcasts that you listen to that remind you of what you want to achieve and of the person that you actually are, then it can really help with this quite common thing that happens a few weeks into a fat loss plan. Because let's face it, a few weeks in, the novelty is worn off, it's not quite so fun anymore. Your goal setting starts in the conscious mind, but you need to engage the subconscious that is overriding what you think you want.

09:09
the messages that ultimately keep you safe, but they also keep you stuck. Sort of like revving the accelerator in your car but leaving the handbrake on, you will not get anywhere. So you need to move that mindset stuff into your conscious mind and make it part of your plan. So you need to focus on the beliefs that you have and on what you are telling yourself on a day-to-day basis and work on these daily. So you can tune into what is actually true.

09:37
that you can change and you can succeed and that you are not a failure. And it can be as simple as even writing those things on a sticky note, popping them up in places that you see and that are visible to you, on your fridge, in your pantry, on your computer screen, like just down the bottom, so it's not in the way of what you're doing, but it is there as a constant reminder of what you're trying to achieve.

10:05
Because ultimately when people have a weight loss stool and they feel really bad about themselves, or a habit stool, it's not a weight loss stool as such. Weight loss can plateau, but it's not a true plateau if you're not actually carrying out the behaviors that lead you to fat loss. So it's more of a behavior plateau, that you stop doing the things you know work. Then our sort of default pattern is to try and do it harder, you know? Like have more of an aggressive calorie deficit. Like...

10:33
tell yourself you're going to go to the gym five times this week instead of four times, you know? That's almost in this punishment type way of, well, I've failed, so I need to do more in order to achieve success. Whereas that might not actually be the case. It's not necessary that you have to try harder at doing the thing. You're probably doing most of what you need to do when you're doing it. You just need to be a bit more consistent probably. That's the big piece of the puzzle. It's like we need to...

11:02
build the mindset to help you keep consistent in the things that you're already doing. Also, you have to give yourself a little bit of grace. And I think it's really important because a lot of women, a lot of people, are told by society, on social media, or they tell themselves they could get results if they just wanted it a little bit more or tried a little bit harder, if they had just a little bit more motivation. But...

11:31
What is missing is that underlying paradigm of the subconscious that makes it so sometimes you just can't do it. And then we look at that and think, God, I'm so lazy. I just have no motivation. Why can't I just get my act together? Why can't I just eat better and work out? When you understand that the subconscious is trying to keep you in that place, that it feels safe and in your default behavior that you've probably carried out.

12:01
for decades, so it's so embedded, you can start to have a little bit of compassion for yourself, of realizing that you're not lazy. It's not that you're dumb, and it's not that you can't do it. It's just that you haven't been focusing on this really large part. This is the 20% of you like, that really dictates 80% of the outcome. It is going to make that process much more successful. And that is how you think.

12:30
And you know, it's funny, isn't it? Because when we hear other people talk about weight loss or when we hear our kids or young people sort of coming up to something new for the first time and they're like, oh, I couldn't do that, I'll fail. Our immediate reaction is to tell them that, of course they're not going to fail. Of course they can do it. But we never give ourselves that same acknowledgement or the same grace, I suppose. So that's what you need to, or ideally that's what you'd wanna do.

12:59
You also have to believe that you can accomplish the goal you're setting to accomplish. And it might feel like it's way too hard and it's just too much effort and it's not possible. But if you set yourself a goal, but then immediately talk yourself out of it, it can be like a self-fulfilling prophecy. You know, you want something, but part of you believes you cannot do it. So, you know, guess what happens? And I remember

13:28
when I was going for my sub-three hour marathon back in 2010 in Sydney Marathon. And in fact, I'd tried earlier that year at Christchurch Marathon, but I got a terrible bout of the runner's diarrhea, thank you to sort of the dried apricots, the white bread and the oats I had before running. It certainly changed what I do. So I wasn't able to complete that marathon. But when it came to Sydney, I'd had all of these failed attempts. Like

13:55
maybe six or seven goes at trying to do a sub-three and I hadn't yet achieved it. And so whilst this was my goal, I really didn't actually think I'd ever get there. Like I wasn't that far away. I was seconds away and I still didn't think that I could do it because I had proven myself, to myself, time and again that I had failed at this goal. So why would Sydney be any different? Everyone around me thought I could do it and they were like, of course you can do it.

14:24
And it was almost like they'd seen it. It was just a matter of time. You know, I couldn't see that myself. And it wasn't until I actually did it that it then sort of the light bulb, not the light bulb went off, that's not right, but I had to do it and I did it by mere seconds. So that proved to me that I could in fact run a sub three, whereas three years in multiple marathons, I wanted it, but didn't think I could do it.

14:52
And subsequent to that, six weeks later, I ran 255. So it certainly was in me, but I do think looking back that I had to change my mindset about how I felt about it. It was like a self-fulfilling prophecy before that. And that's sort of what it's like with diet as well. If you have failed time and again on a diet, then you've almost already decided in your head that you can't possibly be successful with this. And that is that subconscious and that underpinning.

15:21
that prevails a lot of how you feel about the diet process. So understand the stories that you're telling yourself, the subconscious programming that you're running on, so you can address it and not just ignore it. And that is hard, but it's so worth it because you will then be able to move forward and actually hit the goals you wanna hit. And when it comes to what you really wanna hit, there is a difference between what you want

15:51
and what you think you can have. Because sometimes when you talk to people about their goals, sometimes they're telling me what they think they can have and what they think is possible, but not actually what they want. And a lot of this reason is again around failure and they may have a big story around failure. Like ideally they'd love to lose 20 kilos, but you know, five to seven is fine because maybe in the past,

16:18
They did lose 20 kilos, but they lost it in such a way that made it unsustainable, so they regained it. So suddenly in their head, that is a no longer an achievable goal. So this is all the stuff that is really helpful to unpack if you're having these little wobbles through your fat loss journey. And when you sort of set up your goals and what you want to achieve, there's only one way that you can sort of show up for yourself from there on in. So much of what

16:47
we base our expectations on our past experiences and what's gone on before. But you can absolutely rewrite that story, but it does take that work right from the get-go. So if you've quote unquote failed at weight loss and it's been a miserable experience and you've felt really starving, then it's unlikely that you were gonna wanna show up to try and do that again. So rewriting any story around that

17:18
and rewriting it in a way that illustrates success is going to be the thing that saves you in that. And it can be a real blind spot for people because you've probably got a lot of the tools, a lot of the things that you need in order to successfully lose weight, yet it doesn't happen. And so this is like a little bit of a mental block, or as I said, a blind spot, because you can't figure out what's stopping you from reaching your goals.

17:46
So it's really easy for someone else from the outside in to identify this. And particularly in my role, I see it a lot with the way that people talk either about themselves, their experience, or the types of things that they say. I immediately clock when I think that, okay, this is gonna be a barrier for this person because they think X, Y, Z. You can do that for yourself though, by sort of identifying from the get go, some of your beliefs around weight loss

18:16
your ability to be successful in that space, you can work on that. So in summary then, mindset is super important. And this is a great time to address it because we are heading into the couple of months of the year, there's like three or four months of the year, we're a large part of what life happens sort of around us and we're swept up in it, but that's no reason why you can't continue to achieve your goals.

18:45
You just have to have a really resilient mindset and be really focused on what you're doing. And this doesn't mean that you have to be absolutely perfect in your diet or anything like that, but just don't have the type of mindset that leaves you then vulnerable to just making decisions and poor decisions that you wouldn't make otherwise. Anyway, I'm running a fat loss webinar. It is happening this coming Sunday, November the 12th at 4 p.m. New Zealand time.

19:14
where we tackle a little bit of mindset, but a lot of practical tips and tricks to help you navigate this holiday season. So you feel like you're gonna be successful and you will be successful in making really good food decisions, really good exercise decisions and lifestyle decisions, but not feel like you're missing out on all the fun. So I'd love you to join me. Have a look at the link in the show notes and thanks for listening.

19:43
DM me anything, threads, Instagram and Twitter, @mikkiwilliden, Facebook @mikkiwillidennurtition, head to my website, mikkiwilliden.com, book a one-on-one call with me. All right, team, you have a great week. See you later.