00:04
Hey everyone, it's Mikki here. You're listening to Mini Mikkipedia on a Monday. And today I wanna chat about something which comes up a lot in our conversations in Mondays Manor and just with clients as well. And it's how to talk to your kids about food without passing on diet culture. And this is a big one. I talk a lot about this actually. I sort of joke about it. It's very un-PC as to how the fact that...

00:30
When I was young and I would diet with my mom, was like some sort of bonding and actually garnered an enthusiasm for nutrition that lead on to a career. Now, I don't think every aspect of this is healthy by any stretch of the imagination. And certainly now, it's just so different now compared to what it was like when we were growing up. We absolutely have to be mindful about how we talk to our kids. Not that you don't know that because clearly I get a lot of questions on this.

00:58
It's just one of these things that we have to navigate quite carefully. And of course, for many of us, we grew up around dieting and meant that we watched our parents and those around us sort of like cut carbs, skip meals, or shame themselves for eating desserts. And the language that is used around food is often problematic. And of course, today we are more aware and understandably parents can be really scared to mention the fact that they're following a plan.

01:27
in front of their kids. One of the most important aspects about this is isn't the behavior, like weighing food, tracking macros, saying no to cake. These are not issues, but it's the language and the energy around it that can be an issue. And this is what I want to chat about today. When you are chatting to your kids, if it comes up in conversation about, you know, your why and why you're doing this, it's really important

01:56
Obviously for your children to understand that adults and kids have different goals and needs. Albeit, I've had clients who don't want to talk about this in front of their adult children. And I think this is, that's an entirely separate issue there. But I'm sort of thinking about sort of the younger kids. So for example, if you think about someone coming into my Monday's matter plan and the type of language that is used around sort of explaining why they're doing it, like,

02:23
Mum is focused on building muscle and managing her energy, which just means eating in a certain way that works for her body. So being super upfront that you're following a plan, but it's with this abundant mindset. And it's not about mum can't have these foods because it makes her fat or mum's trying to lose weight. It's looking at the opportunity to eat in a way that supports goals. So this is the sort of mindset approach that ideally people would have. And

02:52
Of course, for the kids, you're still growing. You need lots of variety, lots of food groups to fuel your body and brain. the reality is kids need the same sort of foods that we do, albeit there is a lot of quote unquote kid food around that we think it's fine for kids to have because they're kids and they're growing and they need calories. All of that is true. They also need nutrients. And it's really just the amounts of the foods that you as an adult might require if you're trying to improve body composition.

03:21
It's quite different to your teenage child who is super active and burns off a whole lot of calories, but they still do need nutrients. What is important here is, as I said, different bodies have different needs and we need to normalize that not everyone eats the same food and that's actually okay. You know, like it is actually all right. We need to really reframe the word diet. It doesn't have to be this sort of dirty word, like a four letter word.

03:48
course it is, it is literally just a way of eating. And we want to ideally replace this restriction in deprivation talk with the sort of function talk. Like you're eating this way to feel better, sleep better, run faster, lift heavier in the gym, optimizing for your performance, rather than language like I'm being good, this is why I'm eating this way, or I can't have that.

04:15
You you can tell the difference, can't you? Even just thinking about, even just hearing it out loud, it's quite obvious, but our default is in that sort of deprivation mindset. And we need to move beyond that to this abundant mindset. So with regards to how you feel about your diet, this is a language, and this really helps you and your brain as well, but your brain gets messages from all of the inputs, including how you're thinking about your diet.

04:45
So if you're coming into a plan, thinking about it, like it is a restrictive, low calorie deprivation of all the things that you love, then your mindset around it and your actions and behavior are going to reflect that. Instead, if you let yourself, of course, but your kids also see your food choices as intentional and not punitive, if you model curiosity and flexibility, like,

05:12
For the next couple of weeks, I'm trying more protein to see how I feel. Or I'm limiting this dairy because I don't think it's good for my stomach and I wanna see how I feel without it. And talk to them about that curiosity and figuring out what works best for you. And also, of course, what's super important is not only are they witnessing your balance and your curiosity, but allow them to witness your joy as well. So if you eat cake, for example, do it with joy.

05:41
and enjoy it and then move on. I mean, it is just food, but if you skip it, do it without an apology. Do not add or layer on excuses. You don't have to make a big deal about it. So it is about you being neutral as well. And that's important. And then kids will be neutral about it too. When kids ask about weighing or tracking food, again, you just want to be honest and neutral to them. So again, from that abundant mindset,

06:09
This is helping you make sure that you're eating enough of what you need because we also know in the real world, people under eat protein and overestimate the amounts that they're having. So in all essence, this is exactly what you're trying to do. You're trying to make sure you're eating enough of what you need. And that's the bit that you focus on. Don't tell them that you're focusing on making sure you don't overeat peanut butter because it makes you fat or anything like that. Like ideally you wouldn't be thinking these things, but you're just

06:37
becoming more aware of what you're putting in your body and what your body needs. And again, another thing you could say, it's, you know, this is a bit like budgeting. It's just helping you stay on track for your goals. So remove the morality around it or the weirdness about it. Don't be weird about it. And they won't be weird about it. Try to avoid certain things as well. Like avoid saying things like you need to lose weight to be happy or lose weight to fit into your favorite jeans or lose weight to be

07:05
the size you were 10 years ago. Try not to use food as reward or punishment. Like you've been so good today that you get a chocolate bar after dinner or anything like this. I this is all theory 101, but we do forget it. And quite a lot of this is ingrained into how we think and feel about food. sort of bringing it up allows us to be aware of it and then we can make changes with it. So don't use food as reward or punishment. Don't assign moral values to food like,

07:35
This is naughty. I'm having a treat. I'm being bad. All of this is language that people use and we don't even think about it because it's so ingrained in what we say. again, being aware of that is super important. And then even if your goals are purely aesthetic, don't make your body the focus of your health journey, particularly when you're talking to your kids about it. Think about it and frame it as you want to be fitter, faster, stronger, more capable.

08:05
have more energy, things like that. Help your tummy. Don't look at it as, or talk to them about you being a smaller version of yourself. And this is all sort of wrapped up in teaching your kids body autonomy and self-trust as well. So kids learn by watching and not by being told, as I don't need to tell you that, you knew that. So if you model respect for your body, your goals, the food that you're eating, be super neutral,

08:34
share your joy, explain it in a way that is an abundance and not this deprivation mindset, they will pick up on that. But remember it is okay for them to know that adults manage their health differently. Equally though, let them see that you also enjoy food, you enjoy being flexible, and also of course with exercise that you move with joy, is something that you want to do, not something you have to do to lose weight. So, you know, this is less about what you're doing.

09:01
with regards to the meal prep, the tracking, choosing not to drink wine on a Wednesday night, and more about how you frame it. So the energy and language around food, goals, and health is what sticks with kids, not whether or not you use a food scale. I'd love to hear all of your tips. I'm sure you've got plenty of ways that you word it with your children in your household. Hit me up in the DMs. I am at Instagram, threads, and X @mikkiwilliden. Facebook @mikkiWillidenNutrition or head to my website mikkiwilliden.com. Alright team, short and sweet but hopefully this was helpful nonetheless. See you later.